What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What do you mean son?

What are some fun/kinky things to do with your partner?

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

How did you become popular in school?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

I'm very sick. 72 years old. I thinking I'm losing my mind. My dead friend told me it's going to be okay. I could feel him. There is more…I don't know what but more.

True - how I loved my mum!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Do you know what she said mum?

What is the most inappropriate thing your wife has done in front of you?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?